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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well"

"Why does black lives matter affect the postal service? They have white mail privilege."

"What happened to the pie dish that got arrested? He was foiled."

"You know what they say about hungry hippos... It was modeled after a date with OP's mom."

"The man who invented the jigsaw has died. May he rest in pieces."

"Why girls live longer than boys???? SHOPPING"" never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,""PAYING the ""BILLS"" does"

"Crocodiles; these prehistoric beasts can grow up to 20 feet! Although most just grow 4."

"If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no."

"Sorry I ate all your cake after you passed out and then drew your angry eyebrows on so you'd be ready to discuss it when you woke up."

"Remember when we thought ""Any kid can grow up to be President"" was a good thing?"