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Joke of the Day

"Remember to check on your elderly neighbors to see if they have anything worth stealing."

"I saw a black guy running down the street carrying a tv I thought for a second, ""man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes."

"Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on the Internet. That was a close one."

"Two satellites get married The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!"

"A Doctor and patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine""."

"why are narwhals so sexually attracted to everything? because they are horny"

"""So, why do you want to be a veterinarian?"" [pictures an army of cyborg dogs with laser eyes and jet packs] ...I love to help animals."

"What I learned from this subs The best joke always in the comments section"

"If you want to understand who loves you more, your wife or your dog, lock them both on the balcony After three hours unlock them and see who's happier to see you"

"My uncle always said I was too soft. But I just didn't fancy him."