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Joke of the Day

"So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says, ""Big breaths."" And she says, ""Thankth! I grew them mythelf!"""

"Hey, man. You used no capital letters and only one exclamation point to wish me happy birthday on Facebook. Is everything okay at home?"

"A man walks into a zoo... But there is only a dog. It's a shih tzu."

"Our Sins So what if the whole Hilary/Trump presidential race is a result of of that last guy who didn't forward that chain mail causing the end of the world..."

"How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm? Who the hell cares?"

"What's the difference between a hockey player and my exgirlfriend? A hockey player will shower after 3 periods."

"You call what I just did walking into a wall. I call it looking for walls I can pass through and marking that one off the list."

"Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me of course!"

"Relationship Status: I'm a Rubik's Cube. Now try and figure me out."

"I like my coffee like my women... Black and bitter, preferably fairtrade"