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Joke of the Day
"My new bucket really does its job well. My old one pails in comparison."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? It doesn't cost $200 to have a lentil on my face."
"I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling, but it's definitely up there."
"what is the difference between toilet paper and toast Toast is brown on both sides."
"*Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS"
"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"
"The cleaning people unplugged my radio and lost my settings, so I'm shooting fingernail clippings all over my office floor to punish them."
"apparently some people have been using wind to take the leaves from my frontyard and put them other places. they are still mine regardles"
"Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species."
"What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?"