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Joke of the Day

"Guy walks into library and asks the librarian... ""do you have the book for men with a small penis?"" She replies ""I don't know if it's in yet"" ""yeah, that's the one """

"I dressed up as a coprophiliac Taurus to the Halloween party, but got kicked out because apparently it was ""indecent."" Bull-fucking-shit."

"Broken Pencils are pointless."

"Where do Orcish cows go to hang out? *Moooooooo*rdor."

"According to my google history, I spent most of last night trying to buy a llama."

"My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon. I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run."

"A rabbi, a priest, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this? A joke?"""

"Joke. What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat? ......Claude!"

"Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt? Second Clown: I always perform in the big top."

"The revolution will be tweeted. The sunset, Instagrammed. The relationship, Facebooked. The storm, Vined."