91644

Joke of the Day

"You hear about the moneyless porn star that started selling double-ended dildos? She was just trying to make ends meet."

"I had to get a drug test today.. I got pissed."

"I received a document about the ROM in my computer science class it was read only."

"""Maybe again but kind of bad?"" - sequels"

"[on date] ME: I like my women like I like my wine WAITER: [arrives] Anything to drink? ME: [clears throat] One glass of very hot wine please"

"I am going bananas. That's what I say to my bananas before I leave in the morning."

"[teaching my 3yo the alphabet] ""Ok what's a word that starts with Q"" cucumber ""That's uh... I don't... let's pick this up again tomorrow"""

"If you love something set it free,unless it's a lion. Don't do that."

"I don't trust stairs They are always up to something."

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."