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Joke of the Day

"my daughter hones her survival instincts by forgoing the provided bowl and spreading goldfish crackers all over the house to forage & store"

"What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans? vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim."

"A waitress asks my son what he would like to eat, he replies ""I would like to devour the undead"".... He likes eggs.... Courtesy of my girlfriend"

"Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that."

"Just ate an order of cheese fries and smoke started coming out of my Fitbit."

"Which type of juice has the most mood swings? Caprice Sun. [OC]"

"What happens When a Pigeoner and a Falconer move in next door Feathers get ruffled"

"ww2 Russia be like... You better Czech yourself before you rek yourself."

"What do NRA members and the UCC shooting victims have in common? Both will never get a college degree."

"Q: What part of the road is always crying? A: The breakdown lane."