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Joke of the Day

"If Hillary wins the election, the whole world be like.. [removed due to WWIII]"

"Why did Sarah name her pet Fawn 99 Cents? Because it wasn't big enough to be a Buck."

"Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!"

"The music composer at my school is suffering from Cancer. He's in the hospital being fed through a tuba."

"I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime."

"What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common? Flatbush."

"wanna here my to do list your mum"

"mad props to my friends from high school who are successfully balancing raising a baby and constantly posting someecards on facebook"

"I bet you vegetarians don't even feel guilty eating baby carrots. Barbarians."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was *two tired*."