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Joke of the Day

"What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono. --------------- The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass."

"What do you do on a date with a feminist? Split the bill."

"I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside."

"Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren't that bright !"

"Donald Trump says he has a great relationship with the blacks But unless the blacks is the name of a white family, that's probably not the case --Seth Meyers"

"Tonight's Golden Globes taught us that, no matter how much you spend on surgery, nobody looks good while sweaty."

"Not enough drugs in the world that would make me strip in front of a webcam. But a bottle of wine should do it."

"I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM, BECAUSE GRANDPA FORGOT TO WEAR HIS HEARING AIDS AGAIN!"

"What do you call someone who gets Praise and Merit on Reddit? Creddit!!!!"