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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend really wants to try out some schoolgirl role play. However, I feel really uncomfortable wearing the dress..."

"Just learned how to masturbate. It comes in handy."

"Officer: Sir, we have reports you've trained this bird to injure passersby. Me: Ridiculous! O: The pet's name? M: Paul the Attack Canary."

"Look Disney all I'm saying is that if my stepdaughter brought a bunch of birds and mice into my mansion I'd make her clean up that shit too."

"Fact: Your elbow is the most delicious part of the human body. Try it."

"SATs Roses are red, Violets are blue. I copied your answers, and I failed too."

"Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? A: Roberto."

"A man has been found guilty of overusing commas The judge warned him to expect a very long sentence."

"I swallowed a Watch the other day... Now I'm just trying to pass the time."

"Superman's first love got into writing really sappy love poetry. This is why he left her and kicked her out of his house. He said to her, ""Lana Lang Leav! """