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Joke of the Day

"It's warmer now, but I'm colder than when it was colder."

"What do you call a one-eyed sailor? Pop-eye the sailor man!"

"If the name of your song is not a prominent lyric of the song, I respect you, but I don't have time for you."

"Sometimes I feel like a doctor stuck studying X-rays to gauge the health impacts of excessive sausage eating. I tend to see the wurst in people."

"How do you know if a blonde has been in the refrigerator? There's lipstick on the cucumbers."

"The local pedophile claims he got a perfect score on his SAT back in the day. Said it was as easy as giving candy to a baby."

"Why don't they have bars in Syria? Because, they prefer to get bombed at home."

"Why did the adobe acrobat document go to jail? ...because it was a pdf file."

"Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver."

"A Ukrainian playwright has written two comedic satires of the current war. 1. Crimea River and 2. Donetsk, Don't Tell"