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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if a blonde has been in the refrigerator? There's lipstick on the cucumbers."

"Kitty Pryde walks into a bar Something is disrupting her mutant power."

"What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work? Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!"

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity It's impossible to put down."

"ELECTRICIAN: [walks into home] GF: WHY ARE YOU IN SO LATE? E: Honey, we've talked about this. GF: [sadly] Ok.... wire you insulate?"

"My grandfather wanted to stay fit when he turned 60 so he decided to start running a mile a day. He's 65 now and we don't know where he is."

"Galadriel told Frodo only he could destroy the ring. Smokey Bear said only YOU can prevent wildfires. Frodo did his job; did you do yours?"

"Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on."

"If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day"

"What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common? Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it"