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Joke of the Day

"I saw this ad in a window that said: ""TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full!"" I thought to myself, ""I can't turn that down!"""

"What words does Donald Trump find irresistibly sexy? ""You sick fuck, I'm calling the cops."""

"What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet? Last year's Hide and Go seek champion."

"What did the physicist have for lunch? Fission chips."

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio? Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy."

"Knock, knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget!"

"Your girlfriend is 41?!?! she could be your mother! but she isn't... She's yours."

"What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop? Ivana Pulyova"

"Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom... ... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars."

"Just because I reported several women to HR for not washing their hands after using the rest room doesn't mean the camera they found is mine"