90740

Joke of the Day

"I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. - Mitch Hedberg"

"Pokemon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere"

"""Nothing there? Better bark at it."" - a dog"

"I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak"

"What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black."

"I'm not one to brag about my financial skills, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding. ~ Rob DenBleyker (Cyanide & Happiness)"

"[first date] HER: I totally love Nirvana ME: Oh yeah? Name one of their albums HER: Nevermind ME Okay, forget about it then"

"What's the opposite of a basic Jew? A Hasidic Jew. (Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)"

"Where did the dog find her husband? At the Groomers!"

"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."