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Joke of the Day

"If a girl says, ""I hate drama"" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen."

"""Sir, you have to stop masturbating"" The nurse said. ""But why?"" The man asked ""Because I can't examine you while you're moving."""

"What's the difference between Whitney Houston and a black widow? Nothing. Neither can climb out of a bathtub."

"To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches"

"Why couldn't the motorcycle stand on it's own? because it was too tired."

"There once was a lady named Sue... ..who didn't have much to do. So she pulled out the vacuum, and went to the bathroom, and found a new way to go poo."

"What do you call a Mexican that had his car stolen? Carloss"

"What do pedophiles and McDonalds have in common? They are both bad for kids, but *I'm lovin it!*"

"Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be allowed on this airline again"

"Asians are bad drivers cuz they're used to riding pandas while eating rice is that racist enough for you dad I'm sorry I wasn't in the war"