90647

Joke of the Day

"nothing at all 1. test 1 2. test 2"

"Women are equal and deserve respect Just kidding they should suck my dick"

"I have some news about 2017! Do you want the good news, the bad news or the fake news?"

"I'm going to put my grandmother on speed dial. I'll call it Instagram."

"What is the opposite of a Predator? a Postdator"

"What do you call a greedy ant ? An anteater !"

"In lieu of the recent manhunt... The LAPD's motto is ""to protect and serve."" I think they ought to change it to ""We'll treat you like a King."""

"Money can't buy happiness... Poverty can't buy *Anything*"

"[my first day working on The Avengers set] *leans over to Joss Whedon* I hear this Josh Sweden guy is a real dork"

"My son would've been 4 yo today Man 1: My son would've been 4 yo today Man 2: Oh, I'm sorry man. What happened? Man 1: I pulled out."