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Joke of the Day

"When I ask someone out and they say no I get uncomfortable and just start clapping and saying ""Good answer"" like people on Family Feud."

"Last night I was so drunk I blew chunks. Chunks is my dog."

"I got 99 problems and being attractive could solve at least 30 of them."

"Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day... At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, ""Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."""

"A woman walks in to a bar and asks for a Double Entendre... ...So the bartender gave her one."

"Honey, your skirt is so short that your STD is showing."

"What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don't eat broccoli."

"the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks"

"Did you hear about the discounts at Darth Maul? I heard they're going to cut the sales by half"

"A man's got to know his limitations. Unless he's in a relationship, then he'll be constantly reminded."