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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a Dog."

"Crazy sister put: ""I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly"" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too."

"Archaeologists digging in Egypt have found a Mummy embalmed with chocolate and hazlenuts It's believed to be a Pharaoh Rocher"

"What's the difference between PHP and PCP? One makes you: * feel numb * see things that aren't there * panicked and paranoid * feel loss of control over your actions. The other is a synthetic drug."

"Rejected Disney Movie Titles: 1) Find My Fish Son 2) A Shit Ton Of Spotted Dogs 3) Peter Pot 4) Pretty Lady & Big Foot Face 5) It's Cold"

"How is Donald Trump going to get rid of the Mexicans if elected? Pesticide"

"When a girl cancels a date, it's because she has to, but when a guy cancels a date, it's because he has two."

"What's worse? Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else?"

"What do you call a Russian with three testicles? Whodyounickabollockoff"

"How do you call your gay friend With a homophone"