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Joke of the Day

"I want a pen pal! Like a pen I can really talk to."

"Honey, do you think if we met now instead of 15 years ago, we'd still marry each other? {turn to see husband shaped hole in the wall}"

"Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline."

"Thank god 4 the guy at the bar yelling ""YOU GOTTA CATCH THAT!!!"" when a receiver drops the ball. Had no idea he was supposed to catch it."

"What did the audio visual cable say when it got 80% on its final? HDMI"

"Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into."

"Trump is a misogynist. And I think it is disgusting the views he has on bitches."

"Had sex with my nephew's English teacher. Texted her the next day ""Last nite was grate. Your so awsome!"" so I don't have to see her again."

"Do you know why every new bride smiles? Because she just gave her last blow job."

"My favourite word is snigger It allows me to be sracist without speople sthinking I'm a sbad sperson"