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Joke of the Day

"What do the Irish hate more than potatoes? No potatoes."

"Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar."

"I help morning mall walkers get their blood flowing by chasing them down with a chainsaw."

"If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me."

"What is the favourite meal of pakistani taliban members? Tikka Malala"

"I smoked e-cigs for so long that I got e-cancer. I'm ok though, I just swallowed a Norton Antivirus cd and it cleared things up."

"Hottest fabric on ramps in Paris this season: Kevlar..."

"Why would you put a laxative In pot brownies? Shits and giggles."

"If I was a roofer I'd go around saying I'm single and ready to shingle."

"My friend stole my capacitor I told him that wasn't farad all"