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Joke of the Day

"What do a moped and a fat chick have in common? Both are fun to ride but you'd never want your friend to catch you on one."

"OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there"

"How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid? You planet early."

"What would you call two banana skins ? A pair of slippers."

"A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off. They called it neigh-balm."

"God said, ""Peter, come forth..."" But he came fifth and got a toaster instead."

"Why were the Libyans eating money? They were having dinar."

"Your Jedi mom is so fat... she should be on a force sensible diet."

"What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends? There's not mushroom in here"

"Why do redditors hate the robot NASA sent to Mars? Because Curiosity killed the cat!"