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Joke of the Day

"What is Jesus' favorite mathematical operation? The Cross Product"

"*breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird."

"What is the difference between a horse and a duck? One goes quick and the other goes quack!"

"Why did the pirate captain suddenly die? He had an an*yarr*ysm."

"A club walks into a seal."

"Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face? He couldn't see it coming"

"I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos but it's hard... So hard."

"Looks like the concierge is hitting on my wife again but who cares, this cherry danish I'm eating right now is on point nom nom nom!"

"I would throw myself under a duvet for you."

"What's the difference between a greyhound bus station and a lobster wearing a bra? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean! Edit: HAHahHAHA OMFG I'm the epitome of hilarity"