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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger sings ""eh you, get offa mai cloud"", but the Scottish farmer says ""eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!"

"DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: Depends on what you mean by active. There are plenty of active volcanos that haven't gone off in years"

"My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass"

"The artist formerly known as Prince. . Is now formerly known as alive."

"Mario and Luigi fight to the death, in ""The Plunger Games""."

"How do you make a cat bark like a dog? Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: ""WOOF!"""

"You can't buy love, but you can buy a lot of alcohol so just be happy about that."

"Yo mama's so fat she has titties in the front AND in the back"

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? You're a-peein!"

"How do you show a Muslim Girl you're into her? You pull your Dick Out for Haram Bae"