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Joke of the Day

"I stuck a firecracker up the cats butt! Mommy: Tommy, it's rectum. Tommy: I'll say it rectum! It blew 'em all to hell!"

"Went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and I only spent $9,000.00"

"Our family's annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I'm stringing the lights wrong."

"We've secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens. Let's see if he notices."

"Every guy feels macho in his car. Until he races a woman who's late for something."

"Club Sandwiches... ...Not Seals"

"Enjoy dogs while you can. One day they're going to evolve opposable thumbs and open all of our cupboards and shit"

"My physics teacher said i have potential and then pushed me down the stairs"

"How did the metal get the wrong idea? He was misled."

"An original joke. Sorry, wrong subreddit."