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Joke of the Day

"If someone's embarrassed just tell them an astronaut did the same thing. For example, ""It's ok, Buzz Aldren once shit himself in an Arby's"""

"Just told my kid her freckles are kisses from angels and she said freckles are actually clusters of concentrated melanin. THANKS NICK JR. :("

"So an electric pole fell on my head today I couldn't believe it cause it was so shocking"

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] ""No, no his nose was a bit more avant-garde than that. His eyes suggested he'd lost a ladder."""

"Redditor's Headstone Inscription NOW I KNOW I'M LATE SO WILL LIKELY GET BURIED"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of feminists can change a light bulb, because feminists can't change anything."

"Hand a baby a fork and he looks like a young Poseidon."

"How many times does 43 go into 9? The priest won't tell you, but *he knows*."

"Jared should be okay in prison He is used to 6 inches."

"What should you say to a pig on roller skates? Don't say anything. Just get out of the way."