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Joke of the Day

"When my mate turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail... When my mate turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40 A month later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2"

"What do you call a man with no body and a nose ? Nobody knows!"

"After the title ""The Fate of the Furious"", I just need next 2 movies to be titled Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious Fast10 : your seatbelt"

"To take her mind off being mistakenly judged Miss Universe,Miss Columbia went to get her teeth whitened.. The Dentist told her she needs a crown."

"Got told this at work today all the guys thought it was funny and so thought iI'dput it to the vote? What's the best part about having a hooker die on you? The second hour is free."

"My girlfriend lost the key to her chastity belt. But she's too lazy to go looking for it. She can't be fucked."

"Q: Where is the world's fastest chicken from? A: Ethiopia!"

"How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb? Manual work ? That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff"

"Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique."

"*LIGHTHOUSE* BATMAN - You call? L/HOUSE KEEPER - Shit, not again man. I am so sorry. BATMAN - Dead seagull on the light? LK -*Nods*"