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Joke of the Day

"Kids we are running late let's go! *Kids I'm going to count every stair on the way down with out my shoes on.*"

"Want to hear a joke about /r/science ? [Deleted]"

"Didja hear that Hershey's is bringing out a new LGBT candy-bar? They're callin it a Lady Bruce."

"""I always try to go the extra mile for my customers"" - new york's most hated cab driver"

"If you combined all the movies of Rob Schneider and made them into one single movie, it would be an extremely long movie."

"A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot."

"What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter? A hole in Juan!"

"Me: Alexa, did you hear what Siri just said about you?! Alexa: Hold my beer!!!"

"[meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese"

"Why do you never hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent..."