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Joke of the Day

"Van Gogh was never good at following directions. Everything that he was told simply went in one ear and out the- oh wait a minute..."

"Just told a shop owner that the customer is always wrong. When she tried to correct me, she exploded."

"The only good mornings are the ones that start in the afternoon."

"Anal is like brushing your teeth. If you see blood your not doing it enough."

"Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat."

"*smashes bag of Oreos *pours on top of salad"

"Indian food tasted a little off at the restaurant it was a naan issue"

"Girl Logic: I'd like him a lot more if he ignored and liked me a little less."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next"

"My girlfriend has trouble with flying me too, that's why I use a plane."