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Joke of the Day
"Women's soccer"
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"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The egg is smoking a cigarette. The chicken turns to the egg and says, well I guess that answers that question."
"Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail? He was taking a look around"
"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work."
"So glad my boobs don't honk. Talk about a mood-killer."
"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."
"At the #Adele concert, saw a girl on the corner of the stage repeatedly punching herself in the face. Realized she was the deaf interpreter."
"I saw a man at a circus put his head in a lion's mouth ...and that's still the only big cat blowjob I've ever witnessed."
"What's a machinists favorite song? Turn Down for What!"
"""Fight Fire with Fire!"" - motto of my town's least successful volunteer fire company"