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Joke of the Day

"Paper is so terrible..."

"I asked my mate what he was going to get his mum for Mothers' day. ""Nothing!"" he said. ""Why do they get a whole day to themselves, why can't we have a Son Day?"" We do mate, it comes after Saturday."

"Which country's capital apologises for its religion? Islamabad."

"Turned on women's volleyball and within four minutes there was a wrist injury Don't worry I'll be fine"

"If Spooning leads to Forking, what does Knifing lead to? Abortions."

"Why do people choose to become bakers? Because they knead the dough."

"You know that feeling you get when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat? Ya, that's arrhythmia. You can die from that."

"Retweeting a compliment is like getting a compliment from someone and then conference calling a bunch of people and telling them about it."

"Car insurance companies got it right Don't date women under 25!"

"Kudos to Mattel for making Barbie reflect the average woman! I'm buying the one with massive student loan debt & a fear of cement trucks."