89208

Joke of the Day

"Me: my best friend is my wife Everyone: awwww My Best Friend Carl: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT YOUR WIFE"

"The developers of Apple Maps first big mistake was not calling it Mapples."

"You know the 'Done' button you press to exit a video? How come it only sounds judgy and sarcastic after I've finished jacking off?"

"What is a Skeletons porn-star name? Mr.Boner *edit I give this partial credit to that guy that sells meth on the street he-he."

"My dad I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"What's a philosopher's favorite toy? Play-doh."

"What kind of a cake requires goggles to eat? Bukkake"

"I searched up blind in the dictionary But I couldn't see what it said"

"So a crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan all walk into a bar. How do I know? Because they told everyone in the place within 30 seconds."

"How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it?"