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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Eleph-ino"
Next Joke
"Wet T-shirt contestant asks former contest winner: Any pointers?"
"Micky Mouse is in divorce court The judge says, ""So you, uh, want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" And Mickey says, ""Um, no, I think what you heard me say is that she's fucking Goofy!"""
"Why do cannabis smokers call that tiny device that holds the butt of a cigarette a roach-clip? ...because ""pot holder"" was already taken."
"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."
"Why did Pinocchio tell lies? Because he was a fucking liar! -from Louis CK's AMA-"
"So I slept right through the blood moon event this morning, I'm more of a crip moon guy anyway."
"What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow and gargle."
"5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions."
"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."