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Joke of the Day

"Cheeseburger. Guy to Girl: Hey , do you know the difference between a cheeseburger and a blow job??? Girl: NO! Guy: I will take you out for lunch one day !"

"Why was the dildo company so successful? Good product placement."

"Telemarketer: Are you a homeowner? Me: How big are your lips? Telemarketer: .... Me: Your lips. Are they huge? *click*"

"You're probably wondering how I tweet so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect."

"What's a 68? You do me, and I'll owe you 1!!"

"What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with? A TACK"

"While Twitter is the slutty wife we all share, Facebook has become the humorless mother-in-law we all endure."

"Why did the 2 stem cell researchers get a divorce? Because they grew a part."

"I've been calling my wife ""honey"" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name."

"The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend"