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Joke of the Day

"An ironic joke walks into a bar, orders a beer, and sits down Bartender says hey! We're straight talkers here... no irony allowed. Ironic joke says well that's fine then, because I just want a beer."

"Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets."

"What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks I'll just have a sliver !"

"Think of a good penis joke! Wait, I have a good one right on the tip of my tongue!"

"I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed"

"""When no one else will f*ck you, I'm always there."" Life"

"One of the girls in the office where I work is going to be having a baby. I just haven't decided which one yet."

"Some guy changed all his pass words to 'incorrect' so his computer can tell him the right pass word if he gets it wrong"

"Did you hear about the missing dalmatian? It's been spotted."

"Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania"