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Joke of the Day

"My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life."

"What did the college student say to a banker? I am forever in your debt."

"If i don't get a B+ or better on the Emergency Broadcast System Test this Saturday. My mom said she's taking my iPhone away for a month."

"I was going to make a joke about pepper but it was too insalting."

"[1st date] *recalls buddy said women like a manly man* *but also, be sensitive* I like to work with my hands, But splinters make me cry."

"Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?"

"I like my women they way I like my wine 15 years old and locked in the basement."

"What do characters at Disney World and strippers have in common? No touching!"

"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, ... I'd start thinking about you."

"Diarrhea is hereditary In runs in the jeans"