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Joke of the Day
"A Jew walks by a penny"
Next Joke
"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't. They just beat up the room for being dark and arrest the light for being broke."
"Pissed there isn't a superhero in my town called 'The Human Bee'. That jumps out of trees with a knife in his ass."
"""Nailed it."" -inventor of crucifixion"
"What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!"
"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"
"[at dinner party] Me: Excuse me, a bit of an announcement.. Jenny and I are expecting a kid. She is 4 months pregnant. Vegan: I'm vegan"
"What is it? What's black and blue and doesn't like sex? The fat kid in my trunk."
"Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire."
"Reddit is like sex A well-placed thumb makes all the difference"