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Joke of the Day

"What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved"

"I couldn't be trusted with a time machine. I'd get killed going back and testing whether or not Velociraptors really could open doors."

"Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training."

"Did you hear about the crazy train that went on a killing spree? Authorities believe it had a loco motive."

"I'm at home eating grape jelly. That shit is my jam."

"Is my wife dissatisfied with me? A tiny part of me says yes.."

"Can we just change the phrase ""Transgender"" to ""Transjenner""?"

"Thought about helping an old lady across the street but she prob doesnt have Facebook & wont make a post about it that goes viral so no thx"

"Which fruit can never get married? Melons, because they can'telope."

"The opposite of SpongeBob SquarePants is TowelWeave CircleShorts"