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Joke of the Day

"When the human cannonball submitted his two week notice the ringmaster had trouble finding another man of his caliber."

"Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"*calls into work* ""yo boss i'm real sick"" ""you don't sound sick..."" ""ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys"" ""wow u do sound hella sick"""

"My girlfriend told me to stop singing Oasis... I said maybe."

"Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out? On the Yeast Side."

"""weed is a gateway drug"" ""to what? the fridge? Hahaha"" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*"

"I spy with my little eye. A kid terrified with my literally little eye."

"Have you ever eat a clock? Its very time consuming."

"What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids? A real hootenanny!"

"What's the difference between a personal trainer and a bully? None, they still take your money after beating you up. Edit: sorry for the typo."