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Joke of the Day

"If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like ""oh yeah this makes sense."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !"

"I hear Bristol Palin is pregnant again... Ever since Trig was born, she's been Down to fuck."

"Hey Joseph, Why you Stalin?"

"I rang the wife last night after work to say I'd pick up fish and chips on the way home. I was met with a stoney silence. Something tells me that she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins."

"Ebay You have got to love Ebay Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month."

"How is soy and dildos similar? They're both meat substitutes"

"No, I'm not ""lackadaisical"", I'm lazy, which is the same only 3 whole syllables less."

"*I gently close front door Dog: Where have you been?? I was worried sick about you! See that vomit on the floor? That's because of you!"

"Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable."