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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dinosaur that raps about life? A philosorapper"
Next Joke
"When I get to my deathbed.... I hope it's a tempurpedic."
"Do you know what is 4 inches in length, 2 inches in diameter, and drives women fucking crazy? An empty toilet paper roll."
"What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes!"
"I want to die like dad peacefully in my sleep. Not like mom screaming in terror in the passenger seat."
"So I walked by a restaurant in Maine! It had a sign up "" Happy hour special: Lobster tail and beer!"" I said to myself. Jesus, my three favorite things!"
"Patient:Do you extract teeth painlessly? Dentis: ""Not always the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist"
"When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them."
"So I saw a black man out on the street carrying a TV and thought, ""Hey, that looks just like mine.."", But then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes."
"All I'm saying is if you don't want me to walk into the women's restroom put words not pictures on the doors..."