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Joke of the Day

"So Darth Vader had been plotting against the Emperor for many years By the time return of the Jedi came around, he finally got his chance to overthrow the Emperor."

"It's not fair how many boring things my nephew gets out of going to simply by shitting his pants."

"brogressives: white males who identify as progressive but won't challenge white supremacist capitalist patriarchy 4 fear of being implicated"

"How much does a dead elephant weigh? A skele**ton**."

"My dog LOVES dark chocolate... He doesn't care about antioxidants, it's all about great taste for him"

"Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"Yeah you ladies like bad boys, right? Haha well let me tell you, ladies,, I am bad at basically everything, ;)"

"When a woman says ""WHAT did you just say?"" say something different."

"When a guy texts ""your beautiful,"" reply with ""my beautiful what?"" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again."