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Joke of the Day

"Me: What do you call sex in December? Wife: Don't say it. Me: ... W: ... Me: Wintercourse. W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce."

"Are You From Boston? Because you're the bomb..."

"What do you call a rhetorical fish? Sharkasm."

"Why did the shark go to the doctors? Because he didn't feel very whale"

"Congratulations, ""journalists"" who tell celebrity gossip for a living. I didn't know you could get a degree in teenage girl."

"Why didn't Cathy keep the extra dollar of change at Chick-fil-a? Because Cathy can't help being Truett-ful"

"Why don't people in their 80's have sex anymore? You ever try to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"The government have announced new measures to stop migrants from getting into England Henceforth, Chelsea fans will be in charge of security at Calais."

"What did Hugh Hefner say when he got to heaven? meh"

"A Chinese man walks into a bar... and the bartender says, "" Why the Wong face?"""