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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"I hate being a depressed atheist. Nothing to live for. Nothing to die for."

"Confucius says: ""Woman who fly upside in airplane have open cockpit."""

"My girlfriend named her pussy trouble. And now I'm always trying to get into trouble."

"At the dinner table.. Dad: So how's college these days, kid? what classes are you taking? Kid: Intro to linguistics. Ugh, it's a shitty course. Dad: Language!"

"I had two gorgeous cats... One was called Idonknow and the other Idonremember. Unfortunately, idonremember jumped from the Golden Gate bridge and died. Which dog remained alive?"

"Ladies, if he says he's six foot four inches, make sure that's not two separate measurements."

"Toy inventors make the best writers They have many novel ideas."

"I wish my garden was emo... Why? So it will cut itself."

"It was Jose's first day on the job... he introduced himself to his American co-workers: ""I'm jose"" They replied: ""if you're hose-a, where's hose-b and hose-c?"""