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Joke of the Day

"When a woman puts on a low cut shirt, she's basically saying she wants to win all arguments for the day."

"What did the right pussy lip tell the left pussy lip? We used to be tight"

"Damn girl, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple... And if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in the hospital every day"

"Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree? Ruff Bark"

"How do inmates pay for things in prison? With ConCurrency, of course."

"Does the 5-second rule still apply in the Men's bathroom at Target? I'm pretty commited to this pretzel, if it matters."

"- Who likes music? - asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."

"Nothing sets a bad precedence like your boss catching you actually working."

"Why can't two Chinese people make a white baby? Because two Wongs don't make a white"

"For the last time, I'm not racist! I specifically called it African American Friday!"