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Joke of the Day

"What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey? Anchor."

"I was straining on the toilet this morning. ""Where's the fucking sieve?"" asked my wife."

"Why does Harrison Ford run from Wesley Snipes? Because he's the Blade Runner."

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? In little knotsies!"

"What do natural gas and sadists have in common? They're both propane."

"How did John Lennon play the bass on Helter Skelter...... .....He played with a plastic ruler at the end of a desk."

"BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?"

"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex to move back in. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."

"A guy buys some condoms... A guy is buying a box of condoms at the store. After paying the clerk, the clerk asks him ""Do you want a paper bag with that?"" He replies, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walks into a bar. He sits down and has a drink."