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Joke of the Day

"I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people."

"What do you call a vietnamese turkey? Gobbledy gook."

"I'm a firm believer in the separation of church and hate."

"My wife got mad at me because apparently turn on the veg doesn't mean.. Finger her disabled sister"

"Why did the dry cleaners get shut down? The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing"

"What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common? In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out."

"Girlfriend said she went to the doctor. He said she couldn't have sex. I asked, ""what did your dentist say?"""

"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here"". A time traveler walks into a bar."

"What does the Italian cat say? Cheow!"

"Essex Girl after sex! What does an Essex girl say after having sex? What team do you guys play for?"