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Joke of the Day

"I'm no meteorologist, but I'm washing my car so there's a 97% chance of rain."

"How is Rihanna's boyfriend and power tools the same? They're both Black and Decker."

"How do you get dragon milk? A cow with short legs"

"What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!"

"Here's one you might know... There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true."

"I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom."

"What do you call a vegan who cheats on their diet with human flesh? A humanitarian"

"I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal."

"I just found out I passed my drug test.... Which means my dealer has some explaining to do."

"Obesity levels in the U.K. are rapidly declining. They're dropping pounds fast"