87199

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year."

"[giving grandmother's eulogy] But on the plus side, that's the fastest she ever got down the stairs."

"There was a kidnapping at school today... But don't worry, he woke up"

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no *body* to go with"

"Pretty sure you can see me practicing my ""not all Muslims are bad"" Thanksgiving talking points in the bg of a student film in Wash Sq Park."

"Women are like sand. The deeper you go, the wetter they get."

"Shop Locally. Sometimes we have the thing you need maybe I dunno come back next week."

"What is Rihanna's favorite song? ""I can't feel my face when i'm with you"""

"What do two Wrights make? A plane"

"My child's first name Is going to be look"