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Joke of the Day

"What does being in the mafia and eating pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"Etsy is like your Aunt taking acid. It's lonely and crafty and tries to convince you that spoons should be necklaces."

"Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours"

"Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim."

"Yo Mama's so fat that when she sits on the beach whales swim up to her and sing ""We are family...!"""

"guess what? chicken but. lol"

"Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder."

"My sex life is like finding a parking spot in town. All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one."

"i always carry a condom in my wallet incase i can't finish my corndog"

"What do homeless people eat for breakfast? Cardboard-hydrates"