86989

Joke of the Day

"What does being in the mafia and eating pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year."

"I didn't realise you spelled your name with a ""ph"", Steve. My apologies, Pheven."

"Why are all castles disabled? They all have tur-rets"

"Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree? Because they're stuck up"

"How does a Jew calculate his escape path? Wind velocity times chimney height."

"Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming."

"Like a good neighbor plow my driveway, not my wife"

"I suspect Elmer Fudd is an r/jokes mod, and I have evidence [wemoved]"

"Pro Tip: wash your hands after you shake mine"