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Joke of the Day

"How do you find the circumference of a sheep? Use shepherds pi"

"*puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away"

"My brother & I've competed for title of family black sheep for yrs. He checked in at a strip-club...on FB. Well played brother, well played"

"ME: Hmm. My biggest weakness? Tough question. I guess some people say I'm delusional UBER DRIVER: I didn't say anything"

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another"

"If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty."

"Did you hear about... ...the new WSPA building downtown? The offices are so small, you couldn't swing a cat in there!"

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook."

"""Those who can't do, teach..."" And those who can't teach... [teach gym.](/spoiler)"